This would be a rant, if I had the energy to put into it. I don’t have the energy to rant, because let’s face it, I’m tired. I’m not going to do the year end retrospective just yet, but my gosh 2009 has been one of downs and ups and downs again, and right about now I’m digging deep for the holiday cheer.
When the kids were little it was easy to find, magic was easy to conjur, and sparkles in eyes could be seen in any kind of light. They’re big now, somewhat jaded, but hey they’re teenagers they have a right to be jaded. They love the stuff I make, and they want me to crochet them presents. It’s all good. But, I’ve made a zillion and one things, and I’m not done yet, my house has been cleaned and decorated but you’d never know I just cleaned it, we have to clean it again. And we have company coming, it’s not a bad thing, it’s people I dearly love! And frankly they won’t care if the house is messy, after all it’s my very very very best and oldest girlfriend and her husband. In fact, she and I were jaded teenagers together, and helped clean out the pits formerly called our “rooms”. So, I won’t stress over the house’; but I’m still tired.
The song, “We need a little Christmas” is running through my head. Cause you know, I’m just not feeling it this year. Actually, I haven’t felt it for the last few years. It seems more and more like it’s just something on the “to do” list, that the “specialness” and “magic” went poof. Maybe it’s the lack of decorations you see out in the streets, maybe it’s that Christmas shopping has no zing to it any more. I mean, don’t you remember when it was an event?
You’d get dressed up, and the whole family would “go downtown” or to a special mall that had gorgeous decorations, and you went for the “day”, and you had lunch out, met Santa or the Cinnamon Bear, and there were REAL Christmas displays not some plasticy roboty generic thing, but real little villiages with snow and sparkles and lights, and choo choo trains…Do you remember? I do. I miss all of that. I miss the magic. I need a little Christmas.
I’m crocheting as fast as I can so I can crochet me some Christmas I tell you. I NEED more snowflakes, and snowmen, and roses, and whiskers on kittens and bright woolen mittens. I need hot chocolate, and I need the Sound of Music! Why the heck hasn’t that been on yet? Tell me why?!!!
Ok…so I’m having a holiday melt down. Anyone else? I know if I go to bed, get some sleep, clean up my house and make some snowflakes (screw the four last scarves I have to finish) I’ll feel better. Maybe I’ll even bake some cookies. Yeah, cookies…that’s the ticket. I’ll bake cookies.
Anyone else feeling like this? Just curious…and no I’m not depressed, I’m just missing the magic, it will come back, it always does.